Kindergarten.

Kindergarten looms, yet we still don't know where C will go in the fall and it's starting to get to me. I'm trying to stay positive and embrace the not-knowing by staying focused in the moment and "trusting" that things will "work out for the best," but it's oh so challenging as our options seem to be dwindling. In a perfect country there wouldn't be all the inadequacies regarding education and the lovely brick schoolhouse down the road would be excellent, but hardly a perfect country this is. So after an abundance of research we settled fairly contentedly on applying via lottery to Buckman Arts as our "first choice," while adding Emerson Charter as a strong option if we were lucky enough to get in, and applying to 2 highly regarded private schools in the area as possibilities. Well, as it all shakes out, we've now been waitlisted at the 2 privates, which, quite frankly, is fine because going to either one would be loaded on so many levels: crazy high tuition, a nearly half hour drive to the other side of town, "community building" (and playdates) with kids from who knows where, the socio-economic uncomfortableness of it all... but we'd be nearly certain C would get an top-notch education with an abundance of resources.

However, those aren't an option, and neither is Emerson where we are 74 on the waiting list. This leaves Buckman, the sweet little magnet school with a cohesive arts focus 8 minutes away. And it's free. And L just told me that they had record applicants this year with 100+ people applying for 45 slots, an unknown number of which will go to prioritized siblings. Sigh. So we wait. And when I trace my funky mood back, it started when I learned about our less than 50-50 chance to get into our first choice. Maybe I'm just not evolved enough to get "zen" about this - and what choice do I have because there is absolutely nothing I can do but wait? Tell that to the pit in my stomach.