No.

No is a word that doesn't come easily. So instead of saying "no" to Catlin Gabel, the beautiful private school on the hill, we bought more time by putting down a deposit. After a long and perfectly intense, fun evening going out with B, her friend R, and K -- all women who are, or have been in the throes of the same difficult decision -- I came home after midnight with a fire in my belly that we should investigate both schools further. After all, there probably is no more important decision we can make for our kids. Of course, that fire got squashed after N woke up (having written an eloquent "rejection" letter to Catlin that night) completely baffled and annoyed at my inability to say No to this opportunity. And what is it we are saying No to? We _think_ we know...

If we send our kids to Catlin Gabel, we are saying No in some fashion to any or all of the following: our close knit community, a greater ease with money, the possibility of significant travels, 2 extra hours each day for something other than driving (which in and of itself is saying No to a healthier environment), our kids being surrounded by economic & racial diversity, a greater ease of maintaining a less stressful lifestyle, and last but not least, more family time.

If we send our kids to Buckman, we are likewise saying No to: a stellar education in a broad spectrum of subjects, every educational resource a student could want without any hassle of budget challenges, small class sizes where we know the teachers will more deeply understand how our child learns, having little worry that a department will close or a subject slashed for lack of funding or a school district re-vamp, resting easy that classes are not taught only to the average student or to achieve certain "test scores."

So with this expensive extra time we will dig a bit more, try on both for size, and talk, talk, talk to more people. And maybe instead of making this decision based on what we'd be saying No to, we can figure out what and why we are saying Yes to. And let's hope to God the Yes will feel right & good in our gut.