Peter Pan.

Peter Pan joined our household a couple months ago when Grandma E brought a videotape of the 1950s telecast starring Mary Martin. Shot with a static camera pointed to a proscenium stage, low production values and zero special effects to speak of, it was surprising that the girls took to it like they did. Within days, M was singing "Tender Shepherd" and C echoed along with "I Won't Grow Up" - and for some reason, both adore the exaggerated oddball Captain Hook. Maybe it's the sing-songy music, the "magical" flying actors, or simply the fact the Grandma was excited to watch it with them , but there is something so sweet and innocent about the girls' attraction to this show from a bygone era.

About a boy who refuses to grow up, Peter Pan takes Wendy and her siblings on a wild adventure to NeverLand where the nefarious Captain Hook and his goofy pirates chase after the children and their "Lost Boys" companions. Complete with a Tinkerbell fairy and pixie dust, I'm sure this movie set imaginations aflight in countless children, including my own little Darlings. My own imagination (clouded by the guilt that the lyrics & images of these songs are actually taking up brain space in my 2 year old) whirs around Peter Pan as well. Ahh, wouldn't it be neat to stay in a time warped 1950s version of 2008 where my children innocently delight in simple songs and never experience a harsh moment of the "real world?" Could they (and we all) be like Peter Pan and not grow up anymore? Or if they must grow up, could I sprinkle some pixie dust and fly to NeverLand to save them from Captain Hook?

No doubt that N's and my yearning to hold on to our babies pangs us so because C will start Kindergarten in the fall - a milestone that represents the "outside world" encroaching on our being her sole influence. I remember my mom saying she cried when I started Kindergarten & I'm sure I'll be in good company when I do the same. The truth is though, that this change doesn't happen in a single day, and that we parents will never stop being a major influence in our kids' lives. But there is something so damn harsh about being aware of the slowly slipping away of youth, of time. And while I wouldn't trade awareness for the alternative, and I know in my heart it's what gives life meaning, it still can suck.

Tonight during dinner C asked "Mommy, someday can we visit NeverLand?"

"Uh, yeah, someday... we can visit a pretend NeverLand?"

"We can make it with cardboard boxes and stuff."

"Yes, C, we can visit NeverLand!"

If pixie dust and Peter Pan can live in our imaginations then maybe we don't have to grow all the way up...